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Husbands Matter Too
Once
post-natal depression has been diagnosed, the focus of treatment
is on the mother understandably, and fathers tend to be overlooked.
This chapter speaks directly to the partner, acknowledging
the changes they are going through.
Communication to men about their feelings
of powerlessness and isolation are main themes in this chapter.
Utilising personal stories of coping with the
illness.
GWENDOLINE:
Dealing
with this must have placed a great deal of strain on the marriage.
JOHN:
There's
almost an expectation, an inevitability that the marriage
won't survive. I had to learn that there are certain ways
of dealing with things. I think that all education should
include the husband as well as the mother.
Then, as always, there is a list of very practical guidelines
for husbands and partners to follow:
• There will be times when you feel alienated and despondent.
• Try not to take things personally and make sure that
you develop a support system for yourself.
• Don't be afraid to talk to others about how you are
feeling – it helps and it also begins to de-stigmatise
the illness, so you're not left feeling that you are a bad
husband.
• Be assertive with health professionals.
• Request that you are involved and are kept informed
of any changes in medication or major clinical decision-making.
• Follow your instincts. If you feel that your partner
is getting worse, or is coming off the medication too soon,
express your opinion.
• Don't forget to say, "I love you".
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